How To Overcome The One Thing That Has Always Held You Back

Whenever I write or speak, I tend to speak in terms of “we” or “us”.

I usually do that because I identify myself in the message. I see the area where I need to grow and many times I am writing or speaking to myself.

Today is different. I am writing to you.

It still applies to me, but I think you need to hear it in terms of “you”. So here it goes:

You are stronger than you think you are.

You are. You are stronger, smarter, and more capable than you can really imagine.

Let’s start with that. You are. You just don’t know it yet.

What is preventing you from seeing this amazing version of yourself? It is a powerful outside force that seeps in and becomes an inside force. It is the thing that keeps people in the shadows of their destinies. It is the thing that fills the cemeteries with stories of mediocrity.

You know these stories. These are the ones you hear at funerals when people shake their heads, stare at their shoes, and say things like, “he was such a nice guy.”

What is this force that imposes lifetime sentences of blandness? The force is fear.

Fear holds us back. Fear reminds us of what we cannot do and why we shouldn’t try. It is a bubble that promises safety while slowly suffocating us with comfort.

Oh, and here is the thing, no one is immune to it. We all have to deal with it. There are a million phobias – spiders, heights, flying, ladders, dogs, clowns…the list is endless.

Some seem trivial, but some have a major impact on our lives, like public speaking which prevents us from sharing a powerful message. Fear of rejection is another one that keeps people broke. We see this when those who are brave enough to move forward into a sales career still self-sabotage by not taking the necessary action to be successful.

On dial days or doorknocking days, they find a million other things that will fill their mind and time. Fear shuts them down. They usually fail and blame the opportunity instead of taking responsibility. 

If you are tired of fear controlling your life, here is something that you need to write on your bathroom mirror in bright red marker: 

Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is imminent.  

I wanted to test this out myself. I am terribly afraid of heights. I can live with tall buildings because I trust the structure. It is more like a fear of tall ladders or being on a cliff or trusting some device to keep me from falling from a great height.

For a conference teaching segment, I decided to conquer my fear on camera. I filmed myself rock climbing to show that I wasn’t asking them to do something that I wasn’t willing to do myself.

It seemed like such a great idea! I did all that I could do to prepare myself mentally. I watched videos, I meditated, I scoped out where we were going and tried to imagine what it would be like.

I wish I could tell you that all my preparation prepared me for that moment, but it didn’t. From the moment that I put the harness on, I felt like I could not breathe.

I did not anticipate how high the rocks were or how much it mattered to me how hard they were. Of course rocks are hard, but all I could think about was splattering against them.

It was truly breathtaking, and not in a good way. 

I am glad to report that I did it. I almost quit three times. It was a graceless, anxiety riddled mess of an experience. It was not pretty, but isn’t that what it is like when we face our fears?

I learned so many valuable life changing lessons in that experience. The number one lesson I learned is that conquering fear is a team sport.

There is no way that I could have done it without a guide encouraging and directing me. I also learned the truth of this statement, do the thing you fear and the death of fear is imminent.

It is true, towards the end of the climb I was almost comfortable. I didn’t notice the progress I had made until a year later. We were on a trip to Cancun and our family decided to zipline in the jungle. As we climbed up the spiral stairs to the platform, I noticed the height and was surprised by how calm I was. All of the possible scenarios of falling and dying weren’t playing in my head. When it was my turn I jumped from the platform ready for an adventure. To be there with my family and to experience that memory without the fear and anxiety was such a blessing.

It only happened because I was willing to do the work to kill the fear. Fear died and I was free to live. 

There is a world out there waiting for your success, your message, your direction, and your joy. It is waiting for you to do the messy work of killing your fear. Do it. It won’t be pretty. It never is, but it will be worth it. Your life, your true God given exceptional life, is depending on you to do it. Your family and legacy are depending on you to do it. Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is imminent.  

If you have any questions about your sales or your business we would love to hear from you. To us, there is simply no such thing as a dumb question. We may have the answer for you but if we do not we will find it with you.

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