John Wooden, considered by many to be the greatest basketball coach in NCAA history, was once asked to define success.
He thought for a moment and answered, “Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
What an interesting thought, success is the peace of mind that comes from doing the work that results in us becoming the best version of ourselves.
That really is the goal though, isn’t it? To become the best version of ourselves? This could be in sales, leading a team, or building a business.
Regardless of your vocation, it will require focus and hard work to truly be successful. It is easy to underestimate the personal cost and sacrifice that is required to be successful. It is much easier to lose focus, become cynical, and make excuses.
Here are three things that we need to stop doing immediately if we are going to find the peace of mind that comes from becoming successful.
Resent other people’s successes
Leaderboards are an issue for some agents. Instead of seeing what is possible and improving their skill sets to compete with top producers, they nurture their emotions and begin building a case against the agent who is producing at a high level.
We create stories about them and say things like, “They must be getting the good leads or they are not on the up and up.”
Agents who do this waste valuable energy comparing themselves instead of working on growing themselves. Here is bad news for those who compare with a negative attitude: there will always be somebody better.
There will always be someone who has a nicer car or a nicer house. Instead of creating emotional distance, you would be better off building a relationship and asking the top producer for advice. Success is becoming the best version of ourselves and it is almost impossible to do it by ourselves.
Dwell on the past
I once heard that dwelling on the past is like reading the same book over and over again and expecting the ending to change. In reality, living in the past is like picking a scab that is trying to heal.
If anything, the past is designed to teach us. It shows us correction points in our lives so that we do not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
In her book, Three Routes to Healing, poet Ijeoma Umebinyuo says it best:
“You must let the pain visit.
You must allow it to teach you.
You must not allow it to overstay.”
If success is becoming the best version of ourselves, then it requires looking to the future. It is impossible to dream about the future when you live in the past.
Expect immediate results
We live in an instant age. You want food, you can get it almost instantly. If we don’t get our pizza in thirty minutes we throw a fit. Everything we ever wanted is at our fingertips. Our happiness is based on likes and notifications.
The age of instant gratification sends our dopamine receptors into overdrive and we become addicted to getting what we want when we want it. Many times this translates into our work and we expect to have success with very little cost or sacrifice.
If your pursuit is success, then it will cost you. It will cost you blood, sweat and tears. The most successful people understand the power of committing to a process and delaying their reward. They do not get distracted with shiny object syndrome. They map their future and commit to the path.
What is the reward for this? The reward is becoming your best self, and there are other regards if you do it. You may build lifelong friendships and model a life worth emulating to your family, amongst other great treasures along the way.
Brian Tracy, the king of sales said; “The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term, is the indispensable prerequisite for success.”
Committing to your success is the first step towards success. When we commit, we often commit to things that we should do, and ignore the things that are eroding the foundation of change in our lives.
If you can commit to stopping these three destructive mental activities; resenting other people’s success, dwelling on the past and expecting immediate results you will find that you will start dreaming again and thinking about the right things. That is when you will be free to begin to see the path to your success. Go for it, after all you deserve it.
It is almost impossible to be successful on your own. Everyone needs a coach. We have coaches! In our coaching program we share these coaches with you!
If you would like some help, please reach out. We would love to help in any way that we can. Just shoot us a text at (502) 837-9813.